Show, Don't Tell.
Derek Sivers says to keep your goals to your self. He argues that when we let the world or even just one friend know what we are working on, we do it to prove to ourselves that we've started. By sharing our goals, it is more likely that we will create a bias in the constructs of our own minds that tell us how great we are for simply having start down the road towards our goal. This congratulatory bias, he argues, will actually make us less motivated and less likely to achieve our goals.Show and Tell.
More commonly, it seems, we hear that the more you tell people your plans, the more encouragement and support you will get. After all, how can someone help you, if they don't know what you need. People have recommended you tell everyone - others say to tell a select groups of friends like your friends who are connectors, or your friends with similar goals/ who have already completed your goal, or anyone you know who is simply working toward a goal.
There are even websites that exist so your goals become public. You can even wager against yourself. Stickk is possibly the best example of this that I've seen so far. It exists because, at it says, "some people respond to the carat others respond to the stick."
What is a Goal, anyway?
Famously Diana Scharf said, "Goals are dreams with deadlines." But there seems to be more to it than that. George T. Doran first said in 1981 that goals need to be S.M.A.R.T.
S: Specific - who, what, where, why
M: Measurable - how much, how many, if there's ambiguity, how will you know when you've accomplished your goal
A: Attainable - without a false sense of optimism, can it be done?
R: Relevant - why does it matter, is now the time?
T: Timely - when? what needs to happen today? what will I need to be doing in 6 months?
My thoughts...
I think that everyone is different. I know from my own experience that the more I state my goals, the more I shared them with the world around me, the more change I saw. Personally, it seems that I will let myself under-perform if not under a self imposed microscope.
Last year, I told everyone that asked why I was eating so differently that I was part of a fitness competition with my best friends (S). We wanted to see who could have the best physical transformation and weight-loss in terms of body weight percentage change (M), any step in the right direction would be great (A) because we had all gained about 20 pounds since college (R). We set a hard time table of three months (T) and even booked a reservation at Peter Luger's Steak-House for the night of weigh-in. The winner would eat for free.
The exercise was S.M.A.R.T. There was incentive. There were results. We all saw major changes.
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| Jan 1, 2012 (192lbs) - March 28, 2012 (171.5lbs) |
I also, believe that Derek is on to something. I know many people, my self included who have rested on the laurels of others.
So, today, what I find to be most important is aligning yourself with your goals and your beliefs. If you want something, believe that you will get it. See yourself having it. Research others who have succeeded in the past steal from them. Research others who have failed in the past, learn from them. Share your goal. Keep your goal a secret. Its your choice; just believe in yourself and do something.
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| The free Peter Lugar's Steak was well worth the sacrifice. |
