Goal Setting: Part 1

I seem to always find myself reading about goal setting. I think I have a thing for case studies about making your dreams a reality. Of the videos watched and books read, here is part of what I have gathered so far, what stands out to me and my breakdown of it all.

Show, Don't Tell.

Derek Sivers says to keep your goals to your self. He argues that when we let the world or even just one friend know what we are working on, we do it to prove to ourselves that we've started. By sharing our goals, it is more likely that we will create a bias in the constructs of our own minds that tell us how great we are for simply having start down the road towards our goal. This congratulatory bias, he argues, will actually make us less motivated and less likely to achieve our goals.

Show and Tell.

More commonly, it seems, we hear that the more you tell people your plans, the more encouragement and support you will get. After all, how can someone help you, if they don't know what you need. People have recommended you tell everyone - others say to tell a select groups of friends like your friends who are connectors, or your friends with similar goals/ who have already completed your goal, or anyone you know who is simply working toward a goal. 

There are even websites that exist so your goals become public. You can even wager against yourself. Stickk is possibly the best example of this that I've seen so far. It exists because, at it says, "some people respond to the carat others respond to the stick."

What is a Goal, anyway? 

Famously Diana Scharf said, "Goals are dreams with deadlines." But there seems to be more to it than that. George T. Doran first said in 1981 that goals need to be S.M.A.R.T. 

S: Specific - who, what, where, why

M: Measurable - how much, how many, if there's ambiguity, how will you know when you've accomplished your goal

A: Attainable - without a false sense of optimism, can it be done?

R: Relevant - why does it matter, is now the time?

T: Timely - when? what needs to happen today? what will I need to be doing in 6 months?

My thoughts...

I think that everyone is different. I know from my own experience that the more I state my goals, the more I shared them with the world around me, the more change I saw. Personally, it seems that I will let myself under-perform if not under a self imposed microscope. 

Last year, I told everyone that asked why I was eating so differently that I was part of a fitness competition with my best friends (S). We wanted to see who could have the best physical transformation and weight-loss in terms of body weight percentage change (M), any step in the right direction would be great (A) because we had all gained about 20 pounds since college (R). We set a hard time table of three months (T) and even booked a reservation at Peter Luger's Steak-House for the night of weigh-in. The winner would eat for free. 

The exercise was S.M.A.R.T. There was incentive. There were results. We all saw major changes.

Jan 1, 2012 (192lbs) - March 28, 2012 (171.5lbs)

I also, believe that Derek is on to something. I know many people, my self included who have rested on the laurels of others. 

So, today, what I find to be most important is aligning yourself with your goals and your beliefs. If you want something, believe that you will get it. See yourself having it. Research others who have succeeded in the past steal from them. Research others who have failed in the past, learn from them. Share your goal. Keep your goal a secret. Its your choice; just believe in yourself and do something.

The free Peter Lugar's Steak was well worth the sacrifice.

General Stanley McChrystal - Leadership is a Choice

This video reminded is a great reminder that people are watching you all day, every day. You set an example with every decision and action that you make.  And that this life is all about how you get the little things done. 

"The thing about leadership is that its not that complex, but its really hard. I can tell you all the right answers to be a leader, but you won't write them down because you'll know them all. But its like knowing the right answer to be in g

reat physical shape, or to be very well read, or to speak 6 languages. The difference is just doing it."

Im working on the little things...

"When you want to succeed as badly as you want to breathe... then you'll be successful."

Stumbled onto a pretty awesome video yesterday... Eric Thomas is the voice in the background. He does national speaking tours, mostly at colleges, were speaks about what it takes to be successful.


"When you want to succeed as badly as you want to breathe... then you'll be successful." I believe him there.


"How Bad Do You Want It? (Success)"

In this video we see, Giavanni Ruffin, former running back at East Carolina, working to prepare for the NFL Combine.

A Lesson from The Alchemist

If you have not yet read Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, well, you should. I try to read it once a year. The short novel is written with brilliant simplicity and is filled with a lifetime of wisdom. Of the many lessons, one parable stands out from the rest. As best I can, i would like to retell it and I'll try to do it justice. 

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The Alchemist's Lesson:

Treasure hunters and scientists have scoured the world over for Alchemists, men said to be so in tune with the world that they are able to turn objects into gold. One day, following a rumor about a man in the desert of great wealth, an ambitious young man set out to find The Alchemist. It was dawn on the third day of his search when he saw a massive palace in the desert. 

Arriving at the doorway, the young man could see more beautiful furnishings than he had ever seen in his short lifetime. A man greeted him and said if he wished to see The Alchemist he would have to wait quite some time. The Alchemist was every busy. 

The sun was beginning to set by the time the boy was told The Alchemist would see him. "How can I help you?" The Alchemist said in a voice fitting of an alchemist. 

"Sir, I want to be like you." the young man said. "Please let me be your student."

After a pause, The Alchemist finally spoke. "I see something in you, something special. Ill give you an opportunity to prove yourself. Stay here." The alchemist left the room briefly. And returned with a beautiful crystal carafe and a ornate silver spoon. Filling the spoon with an aromatic oil from carafe, the Alchemist then handed the boy the spoon. 

The alchemist then said, "This oil is the rarest and most expensive oil in the world. Your task is to walk through my entire palace without spilling a single drop. I'll wait for you here, in my study." 

The young man, determined to prove his worth, focused more deeply then ever before. He made it back to The Alchemist's study without spilling any of the oil. 

Smiling and trying to contain his excitement the young man said, "Ive done it."

"Ah, it seems that you have," replied The Alchemist. "I knew that you could. And I knew that you would just love my home. What did you think of the tapestries in my map room? Which of my libraries seemed most inviting? Did you notice the intricacy of the woodworking on the doorways?"

Unsure of how to respond, the young man simply said "no, sir, I did not"

"I was afraid that you wouldn't," said the alchemist with the smallest of frowns. "Most people go their whole lives never looking up from the spoon. The key to alchemy is seeing all the tapestries and never spilling a drop."

It was a lesson the young man never forgot. 

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It is a lesson I hope to always remember.

Im Back...

Here we go it's been a little bit but - I'm back.  I've been working, traveling and thinking a lot now I feel refocused and remotivated.

It's time to get better.

Im not sure what this blog will become, but please send me feedback or ideas to help make this something worth your while...

*Im going to start throwing in my favorite pictures from Florence and my trips, as they seem to really inspire me. Also, I have been writing travel tips for Bus2alps' blog. Some of them will find their way on to this blog as well.